Heart, stay calm.

I'm young
I'm vulnerable
But I am hidden
People thought I am strong
   and capable.

The pressure out of my sacred cage
Keeps poking
Keeps pressing
I severely thump
   each time I feel like this cage is about to break.

If only I have eyes
You'd see me cry
If only I have mouth
You'd hear me wail
If only I have legs
You'd never see me anymore
   'cause I'd run away, escaping this unfair reality

But still
I am kept in here, securely inside the heart cage.

*because I'm so emotionally sensitive right now and everything is just so unfair and I'm all tired with everything*

Another New Phase

Okay.. first let's start the day with this greasy slaps-worth boy.. ^^

Previously it was about pre-asasi.

Then it was about asasi.

After that it was about post-asasi.

And yeah, this time it's my degree life.

It has been ages, like I guess nobody ever remembered of the existence of this blog (even me). Everything I posted recently were just about my studies, No more rants or rambles on kpop stuff or just boring "today i did.." haha I don't even know why. Blogging is no more my matter of interest I guess.. 

Anyway.. today is an exception, since I felt like logging in into my rusty blogspot account, and finally I managed to edit and add stuff and all into this unknown-to-the-world blog. Sobs.

Not going to talk about TESL again, obviously, but something related to it. Slightly.

I'm a TESL reject, but right now I don't even feel sad about it anymore. Yeah, I cried a load when I got the UPU result, because TESL was like something that I yearned for since I started my foundation year. But now, I'm in BA of English Language Studies, something not so different, but better. I'm not being biased but yeah, I need to love what I've got. And I'm loving it. 

The people here - coursemates, lecturers - are very supportive and friendly. That's what make me change my mind on not to mourn over the TESL-rejected-me thoughts. 

So what am I trying to say here is, chances and new experiences are everywhere. Don't set your eyes only on one thing, turn around and you'll realize there are a whole lots of new things that you haven't seen or heard of. And they might be better.

Okay, enough talking to myself. Goodbye, have a nice day.

HELLO AGAIN!

Wow.. okay.. it has been a while (a looong while) since the last time I updated my blog. When was that.. before I came to Malacca. Yeah. And I'm already here for the 2nd month in the 2nd semester. My foundation is going to end in another two months. I've just took MUET, and now waiting for my foundation to end. Wow.

     What else can I share other than everything about TESL, right?

     For the time I was here, I'm having very great and challenging months. Being TESL students aren't just as easy as it sounds. It requires a lot from yourself - your passion, your skills, your strength in handling stressful assignments. Maybe you could see TESL as "just English" as a whole.

     But it's not as easy as that. You're going to explore more into English. Grammar, writing skills, reading skills, listening and speaking skills. I had improved my speaking skill a lot after I came here.

     Oh, and also, some additional subjects like Malaysian Studies, College Study Skills (this is pretty hard, no joke..) and Islamic Understanding. Everything's a memorizing subject.

     But during the second semester, you won't be having history subjects anymore. You'll have drama class (it's really fun!), literature and Foundation of Education (this subject, I think it need half of your brain to memorize..)

     I admit I'm getting stressed over and over again because of killing assignments and subjects to revise for tests. Other thing is, I'm in the 1st class out of the four, and so you know how high the lecturers expect from us. But, we've been labeled as a slow batch, we slowly catch up, very immature, sometimes some of us didn't do our homework (yeah this is true..) and so on. So, that add up to my distress. You know.. sometimes I even thought of quitting this course.

     But, despite all the stressful thing, TESL is a course that opens up variety of chances ahead. You're not just fixed to a teaching profession. TESL can lead you everywhere, as long as you work hard. Many people I know here said they took TESL because they love English, not teaching. But for me, since I've already chosen this course, I'm working hard to be an English teacher whom one day could have her own students to teach. TESL has helped me a lot in improving my soft skills. It had reduced my stage fright illness of which I've had since I was in primary school.

     I hope, Allah will ease my way and I could be a great English teacher one day.